Uni High's very own Gossip Girl strikes again, this time unleashing her very own Hot List. But Dana Al-Qadi says that not even a Hot List can redeem such a petty blog.

DANA AL-QADI
Gargoyle assistant editor
Posted Tuesday, Nov. 21, 2006
Opinions

I, DANA AL-QADI, have gossiped before. Everyone has done it at some point or other. Boys swap stories in steamy locker rooms while adorned in terry towels. Girls braid each other's hair while sharing tidbits of information. And even those of us who avoid such gender stereotypes share the latest news with one another.

However, when does gossip transcend the shallow relaying of news pertaining to some other individual and venture into the dismal abyss of ridiculousness? When pseudonyms for people are specific eating disorders. When lists naming people considered an honor to hook up with are posted. When people's flaws are paraded in hot pink font. Basically, Uni High Gossip Girl(s), I am calling you out.

On Monday, Uni High Gossip Girl (UHGG) came out with her very own “Hot List.” The three most attractive males and females in each grade were selected and posted on her blog, resulting in a plethora of curious students wondering whether their cheekbones were high enough to make the list and then proceeding to scramble toward the nearest computer and determine their fate.

However, Uni High has its own glorious history with the daunting “Hot List.” In 2004-05, several members of the Class of 2006, who were juniors at the time, put their gifted minds together and compiled a list ranking female students by their physical attributes and appearances.

Their stroke of genius resulted in an addition to the Uni High policy on sexual harassment in the student handbook. “Making lists of ‘hot people' or rating or ranking people according to attractiveness or body parts” became No. 10 on the list of prohibited student conduct under the headline of sexual harassment.

Who is UHGG to judge the student body based on the hue of their iris or the radius of their nostril? For that matter, who is any of us to play with the self-confidence of our peers as if it were our very own six-stringed instrument? Not only is the latest posted list utterly useless and without benefit whatsoever, it is also a violation of the student handbook and a form of sexual harassment.

One UHGG column html address boasts “you love our gossip,” but do we? Not particularly.

Aside from the fact that the majority of the pseudonyms used not only make it even more obvious who the person in question is, they are vicious and hurtful. The Bulimic? The Anorexic? The Dater? Miniskirt? Newbie? The Giant? The Follower? I consider myself somewhat familiar with the English language and as far as I know, these adjectives are not compliments.

UHGG's stories are realistic enough not to be immediately ruled out upon reading yet fallacious enough that they annoy the people mentioned. Since when was it decent behavior to question the absences of teachers and discuss the possibility of medical problems? If true, it is a personal matter that should not be splayed so tactlessly beneath hearts and such frivolity. If false, then lies are being circulated. An issue with its own demons. Since when was it remotely OK to accuse people of only wearing the same miniskirt because they are spending the rest of their money on man whores?

Perhaps UHGG's columns are entirely fabricated and mean nothing. Perhaps the student body reads it for a good snicker. But then a new question arises: At what exactly are we giggling? The expense of other people? By not only discussing matters that have nothing to do with us but thriving off the pettiness of it all, we are accepting an attempt at humor and wit that is neither funny nor witty.

I am a fairly easy-going person. I don't cry when people don't recycle. In fact, I don't even follow them around with the recycling bin pleading with them to just dump that aluminum can in the proper bin. However, I find my conscience stirring queasily when thoughtless words about others are floating around in cyberspace ultimately degrading them for what they wear, how much skin they show (or don't), and whom they have made out with (or haven't). But why make this a matter of conscience when, really, it just boils down to being a waste of time and utterly preposterously ridiculously pointless?

UHGG, you have a flair for color coordination and font style. Use it for good. Uni student clubs need fliers. Grandmothers all over the country would like birthday cards. But claiming that you are a “gossip whore” with “no apologies” in the little text box in the corner of the blog window … well … why don't you just read it in my blog?