The Day of Silence
Today, I participated in the Day of Silence.
I participate every year, and have done so since I was a wee little subbie. And by participate, I mean wear the rainbow-colored ribbon and lower my average amount of talking by about three words.
But this year it was different. Perhaps I am older and wiser. Or perhaps it had to do with my higher level of involvement in Uni High’s Gay-Straight Alliance, or GSA. Whatever it was, I really wanted to be silent this year.
But for those who came to GSA’s meeting last week, we learned that silent is all encompassing. It’s not just that you can’t talk, you can’t communicate.
The silence on the Day of Silence represents the silence that is forced upon members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer community. People who are unsure of their sexuality or don’t fit society’s norms are unable to discuss it with anyone because they may, as a result, face harassment and bullying.
And on top of that, there are other times when they can’t talk, not only about their sexuality, but also about everyday things for fear of espousing a “gay” mentality.
So, that is why we don’t talk on the Day of Silence. But just like a member of the LGBTQ community can’t solve the inner conflict by writing it on a piece of paper or whispering it, neither can we participants get out of our silence by passing notes.
Thus, my goal this year was to really put my all into this endeavor. I was determined not to talk, and not to communicate at all.
As promised, I felt frustrated, disabled, unable to function.
But the more significant emotion for me was the attempt at the end of the day not to feel self-righteous. Not to feel as if I had just done some amazing thing, and “Wow, everybody look at me and how supportive I am of the LGBTQ community.”
I haven’t done anything great by being quiet all day. I have barely simulated the actual experience of having to hide one’s sexuality, and I haven’t even participated in a unique protest. I just sign up and other people work it out for me. Someone else even makes me the rainbow-colored ribbon.
Do I think it is entirely bad to feel a little good about yourself if you are successfully silent all day? No.
But I think it is important to reflect; to not focus inward, but outward. To look at this day not merely as a way to prove yourself as an ally to the LGBTQ community, but as a way to realize the pain that someone who hides their sexuality has to go through, and then try to work even harder to lessen that pain and make it easier for everyone to feel accepted in our school and in our world.
— Sarah Pfander