Carpe diem ...
Have you ever been in that situation where you know you are supposed to be doing something, but then you don’t do that something, and instead do something else that is completely unrelated?
Or, have you been in those situations when you know you aren’t supposed to do something, but then you do it anyway?
Well, those situations are the ones I find myself in more and more these days. With the sweet summer getting closer and closer, I am finding it harder and harder to do the right thing. It’s like some alien has taken over my brain, and in any situation I get myself into, it screams to me, “Carpe Diem!”
So what are the “bad” things little Miss Andrea Park has done?
The first is I bought a kitten without my mother’s permission. These kittens were being sold off at the senior auction. I couldn’t resist. I wanted a cat. So, I bought a cat.
Furthermore I didn’t tell mom that I bought that cat until four days later when I knew she was in a very, very good mood (and I was out the door, leaving for prom).
The second is I went to the “Pirates of the Carribbean” movie premiere last night instead of studying for finals.
I know, you’re probably thinking, “Man, that Andrea. She’s bad.”
But for me, it felt pretty bold and badass. Especially because I’m going to Michigan this weekend, which leads me to the third bad thing.
This weekend I am going on a fun weekend trip to Michigan with a couple of friends. Well, this wouldn’t be “bad” if it were any ordinary weekend. But, it’s the weekend before finals! Not only that, it’s the weekend before finals of junior year (which are perhaps the most important finals I’ll ever take).
I’ve weighed the pros and cons over and over again. Honestly, the cons probably outweigh the pros. However, I still want to go to Michigan!
Although these “bad” things are on the mild side on the scale of “badness” (if they are bad at all), I still feel guilty (which is why this entry is a sort of confession). But, what’s weird is that this feeling of guilt is mixed with feelings of total take-charge and freedom.
I’m making these decisions myself. I’m doing things that I want to do.
Even though my parents have pressed very hard for me not to keep the cat, go to the movie premiere, or go to Michigan, I still did.
I feel more responsible, adult-like, and mature from my irresponsibility.
So for right now, I’m going to stick with my bad “bad” decisions. I’m going to be proud that I made them. I like the weird feeling I get from doing the wrong thing.
— Andrea Park