Column: Will chaperones grind away the fun at prom?

By Shivani Khanna
Published: Thursday, April 12, 2007 - 4:05pm

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Opinions

Shivani Khanna
Gargoyle assistant editor
Posted Thursday, April 12, 2007
Opinions

AS PART OF the Gargoyle's prom coverage I am writing an article about the grinding rule at dances for Uni students.

In order to thoroughly cover and do justice to this topic I went and talked to Assistant Director Sue Kovacs to refresh my memory about the rule.

After several comments about what grinding actually is and what constitutes a sexual organ, we came down to her policy on grinding.

Basically she needs “one to two inches of space” between the dancers.

Whether it is pelvis-to-pelvis dancing or butt-to-pelvis dancing or sandwiching or a grinding chain, Kovacs needs “space between the sexual organs.”

I personally do not find this policy to be intolerable.

While it may not be the most conducive doctrine toward dancing with your mate it is certainly a decent compromise, and it is a far better solution than not letting us grind at all.

Theoretically speaking, I feel that this restriction should not curb my enthusiasm for prom at all.

But practically speaking it does.

It's because not all the chaperones and teachers are as lenient about grinding as Kovacs is.

I've been reprimanded and warned several times at Uni dances by other chaperones for dancing in a manner that Kovacs did not even blink twice at. “One to two inches of space” allows for all kinds of shades of gray depending on who the chaperone is.

What this ultimately makes for is an incredibly uncomfortable situation. An already self-conscious girl will feel even more uneasy, knowing that she has several chaperones breathing down her neck ready to give her a warning look if their interpretation of “one to two inches of space” is violated. Her confidence will slowly lessen, and with it goes the fun in her night out.

There's a reason why the lights are turned off at dances. At the most basic level it is not so that we can all start “dry humping” each other but because dancing can be awkward, and in awkward situations those involved generally prefer not to be gawked at.

Unfortunately for students, the manner in which the grinding policy has been executed has transformed dancing into a tool for social embarrassment rather than a fun and harmless release of energy.

[Note: An earlier version of this column appeared in the Gargoyle staff blog.]

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Comments

April 12, 2007 - 8:48pm — Devin (not verified)

"Unfortunately for students, the manner in which the grinding policy has been executed has transformed dancing into a tool for social embarrassment rather than a fun and harmless release of energy." I personally disagree. You don't need to bump uglies to have fun and release energy while dancing, as many people at dances this year (Valentines Dance, the UFU Dance, etc) have proven. If you can't dance without grinding and you're concerned about social embarassment, then you may not care too much about dancing in the first place. Just let loose and don't care what other people think or say about how you dance. That's always the best way to release energy and have fun.

April 12, 2007 - 10:02pm — Kumars Salehi (not verified)

'Whether it is pelvis-to-pelvis dancing or butt-to-pelvis dancing or sandwiching or a grinding chain, Kovacs needs "space between the sexual organs."' Maybe I read that wrong, but I do believe that by requiring space between said sexual organs, the actual act of grinding is forbidden.

April 13, 2007 - 12:34pm — Sarah Pfander (not verified)

Actually, I think that it would be fair to say that the turnout at dances has declined steadily this year. A lot of students didn't even bother with Spring Fling, and I know that people went to the Valentines Dance and left immdediately. I think that for a lot of high school students, grinding is the way they want to dance, and the way they feel comfortable dancing. But that only applies if they don't feel like a parent is breathing down their neck. I agree that people should be able to just let go and not care what people think, but when grinding is off limits, that is not an option. I don't really want to get into the whole whether or not grinding should be allowed, because that is a more complicated issue. But when grinding, the only way most students feel comfortable dancing, is not allowed, they may not be able to turn around and be as comfortable tangoing and discoing and bouncing.

April 14, 2007 - 3:24pm — Kumars (not verified)

"Actually, I think that it would be fair to say that the turnout at dances has declined steadily this year." It is very fair and probably irrefutable to say that.

April 15, 2007 - 4:52pm — Emily Kamm (not verified)

Well, when all the mean seniors like Devin who have the audacity to suggest they don't want to see you dry-humping to Lil' Jon are gone, you can go back to the way Uni dances were in the Good Ol' Days.

April 16, 2007 - 8:14am — Kumars Salehi (not verified)

I think it's representative of the divisiveness of this issue that I would completely agree with your statement if you weren't being sarcastic.

April 16, 2007 - 1:26pm — Adam (not verified)

I think that Kovacs should go over the rules with every chaperone before prom, that way all Kovacs rules are enforced and they can't be changed based on the parents opinion of what grinding is.

April 16, 2007 - 4:14pm — Emily Kamm (not verified)

I usually don't argue my points with sarcasm, because it's a pretty lame strategy. Oh well, we all slip up sometimes. That said, music tastes are naturally pretty divisive and dances are basically making the world kowtow to your preferences, be they Kanye West or Sly and the Family Stone. Agreeing is difficult. At least we can find common ground on some things, Q (The Coup, the impending war on Iran).

August 5, 2008 - 7:07am — Anonymous (not verified)

Is this for real? I can

Is this for real? I can appreciate wanting to be pre-cautious about under-age or pre-mature sex, due to health reasons, but what is going to come of something like this?