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Column: You are special ... right?
People love to be complimented for their achievements, but Avanti Chajed worries that someday people might become a little too attached to praise. With teachers being urged not to use red pens when grading because it lowers a student's self-esteem, how far will we go to make people feel special?
EVERYONE LOVES A compliment right? It feels awfully good to be told that what you're doing is greatly appreciated and that, above all, you did it right.
On days when my cello teacher says that I'm making very good progress and that I've obviously put a lot of work into the piece (which I often haven't), I leave the room with a slight bounce in my step and smile on my face.
Even my parents love to be complimented. There's always a change in my mother's voice when I tell her that I liked the meal she made that day. And my dad loves it when my brother and I approve the TV he has finally bought after months of deliberation and research. It's good to know that the time spent in working on something was worth it.
But in an article I recently read, the new generation, my generation, doesn't just like to be complimented, we need it to function properly.
If we aren't told our work is good, then we feel the employer doesn't care and we'll consequently be less motivated to work again. The article gave several examples of companies that have started new programs that give employees compliments on a weekly basis. One company even has a person who throws confetti on employees for a job well done.
This isn't just a phenomenon at workplaces. I've seen it happen at my music classes as well. My teacher rarely compliments her students, but when she does, she really means it. At a recent recital, however, she told a little girl “good job” at least five times. And that was just for holding her cello correctly.
True, it's nice to be told my work is appreciated, especially if I've put hours of my time working on it, but no matter how long I've been working, I wouldn't want to have confetti thrown at me. Wouldn't it be distracting to have colorful streamers all over your office cubicle?
But there's a reason we might have to resort to giving balloons and streamers to show our appreciation. I was told that I'm special by so many teachers at my elementary and middle schools in order to boost my confidence and self-esteem that now I no longer believe people when they say it.
It's come to a point where just saying “good paper” isn't enough. Now it's necessary to tell employees that their work was excellent and give them some kind of reward for it. And maybe hang a couple of steamers while we're at it.
At this rate people will soon be thanked for showing up to work at all.
I feel this might eventually get a little out of hand. I mean, how far can you go when praising someone? What do you do with a generation that is addicted to praise? Soon compliments won't mean anything, and then they'll be of no use to anyone.
This isn't going to stop me from enjoying getting a compliment once in a while. When it's really deserved, praise can feel really good. And it always feels good to be told that you're special.
Just don't overdo it.
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— External link: The Most-Praised Generation Goes to Work
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