By Bethany Hutchens

Gargoyle staff reporter


Posted Friday, May 4, 2007, The OG, features & in depth

[Note: This is the latest installment in a series by Bethany Hutchens and Andrea Park about the college admissions process. For an audio podcast introducing the series, click here. For Andrea's article about her experiences with the PSAT, click here. For Bethany's article about choosing colleges, click here. For her article about finishing the application process, click here. ]

WHAT HAPPENS IF, after the college application process, you decide that the colleges you applied to aren't for you?

Those of you who read my first article in this series know that I carefully crafted my college search based on attributes I knew I wanted: a small environment, a liberal arts school with a focus on undergraduates, and an open and friendly environment.

I still want these things in a college, but I want other things as well.

After all of the planning, worrying, and waiting, my college letters came back, and I got into one school I could afford: Wellesley College (with Wellesley my expected family contribution would be $9,000 per year).

In my first article I said that Wellesley was probably my first choice, and it was. But, as the year winds down, and the actuality of attending college looms, I've discovered that I want some things out of college that Wellesley can't offer me.

Wellesley is a women's college. I love my female friends, and a lot of what I have heard about the bonding experiences between Wellesley women has been positive, but I also enjoy being friends with men.

Some of my closest friends are male; I actually tend to get along better with my male friends than my female friends. I'm not ready to give that up.

I also believe that taking an entire gender out of the academic environment detracts from the learning process. Yes, studies have been done that link an all-female environment to female success, mostly because women feel more free to speak out in class when they are not being judged by men.

The world is mixed gender, and college is the time to overcome any lack of self confidence. How can closeting yourself away in a safe, all-female school lead to women's empowerment?

Of course, Wellesley isn't a nunnery, as one tour guide frustrated by all the questions of “Will there be men?” and “How do we find the boys?” allegedly told a tour.

Boston is nearby, and Harvard and MIT frat parties are usually open to Wellesley students, but those connections tend to be superficial.

Many current Wellesley students complain that it is nearly impossible to connect with male friends without class time to bond.

“On the minus side, making friends with guys requires time. Lots of it,” cautions a current Wellesley student, anonymously. “Yes, you can take a bus into MIT and Harvard fairly easily, as well as to Babson and Brandeis, but that takes time and planning. And when you get there, you need a guide.”

Wellesley is also a very prestigious and therefore very competitive school. Many students have complained that the competition can be cutthroat.

For some, the drive to succeed becomes too much, as one current Wellesley student wrote in an anonymous review of the school: “Many students feel alienated and depressed, partially due to the intensely competitive atmosphere. But most chilling is that there has been a suicide every year for the past five years.”

One Wellesley student was found dead in her rented room on the MIT campus in July 2001. This death is still under investigation, and only one of the five deaths the student refers to has been confirmed a suicide.

The same student reported that the Stone Center, which handles student mental health concerns, is overbooked and understaffed, and many people aren't getting the help they need.

As someone who had trouble adjusting to the Uni environment, who has only recently been able to break out of the harmful pattern of perfectionism, I need a more laid-back college atmosphere to be happy.

I deeply regret my decision to apply to two women's colleges (Wellesley College and Scripps College). I realize now that I should have thought about what repercussions of attending a women's college would be.

I fell into the trap of making my decisions off the glossy college letters I received, instead of talking to students about what the college is really like.

I look back at some of the schools I applied to, and I can't remember why I applied or what I thought I would get out of going to that school. I made many mistakes in the college application process, and I thank God that I have the time and the resources to correct them.

Don't get me wrong. Wellesley is an excellent school, and there are many students who have nothing but positive experiences there. It's a great school, but it's not the school for me.

Many people are probably reading this article and thinking, Yeah, all that is great, but don't you have to decide on a college this year?

As a matter of fact, I don't. Since I will be deferring for a year (off to Venezuela on a Rotary International Scholarship), I have time to reapply to schools while I'm abroad. I will still put in a deposit at Wellesley for a safety net, or if I change my mind in the future.

Reapplying will be hard. I'll have to re-release my test scores, resend everything, and even worse, fill out more applications. My dad will have to be responsible for sending everything in on time. I'm not looking forward to going through the process again.

But this time, I know the ropes. I've learned from my mistakes the first time around (forgetting to send in my SAT scores, and missing my financial aid deadlines). I also have a clearer idea of the type of school I want, and how much my family can afford to pay for it.

I already have a short list of colleges to apply to, including several safety schools that give excellent financial aid.

I have to admit, I'm a little scared about my future right now. The easiest thing to do would be to go to Wellesley, but I believe that the easiest thing to do is usually not the right thing.

I know that with the help and support of my family, friends, and Uni's college counselor, the wonderful Lisa Micele (thank you so much!), I'll be able to find a college environment where I will be happy.

THE SERIES SO FAR

— Audio podcast: Introducing our college journey

— Article: Andrea takes the PSAT … and finds out how she did

— Article: Bethany looks for a college … and ignores the hype

— Article: Bethany finishes her applications … and waits for the results