By Erin Hayes
Gargoyle staff reporter
Posted Tuesday, Dec. 5, 2006, The OG, arts

AT A GLANCE

— CD: Gwen Stefani, “The Sweet Escape”
— Released: Dec. 5
— Gwen Stefani's Web site
— Gwen Stefani's MySpace page (listen to sample tracks there)
— Gwen Stefani's Wikipedia entry

GWEN STEFANI'S sophomore solo release, “The Sweet Escape,” is by far the worst record that I have forced myself to sit through in the past year. It is completely devoid of any emotion, and almost completely devoid of thought.

The album opens on a fairly solid note, with the already famous “Wind It Up,” an energetic cut with touches of wood block and yodeling. Unfortunately, the rest of the album does not live up to this opening.

Most of the songs come off as exceedingly immature. The already sparse instrumentation is loaded with uninviting synth decoration that might be best appreciated in the theme song for a child's cartoon show. The last time I heard these sounds put to use in this manner, I was 11 years old and in love with the music from the anime series “Sailor Moon.”

And then there are the lyrics. This part of the album was actually painful, it was so bad. The only times Stefani showed any hint of eloquence or inspiration were when she was promoting her L.A.M.B. clothing line or name-dropping for someone she collaborated with.

The majority of the songs sound like they were written by a spoiled preteen, saying things as immature as “I know you're right and you win … I give in, even though you started it” and “Why do you act so stupid? Why? You know that I'm always right.”

On top of this, the only weak efforts to be poetic (e.g. “The moon got lost again last night, but now the sun has finally had its say”) fail miserably at giving any redemption to the album.

The listener is left feeling like every song in which Stefani is pretending to be depressed or upset is just that — pretending. The only would-be emotional tracks are spoiled by the vibe of insincerity.

The brighter spots on the album, such as “Yummy” and “Early Winter,” are collaborations, causing the listener to further question Stefani's abilities as a musician.

“Early Winter” features Tim Rice-Oxley, the pianist for British pop-rock band Keane. Rice-Oxley's appearance on this track causes it to fall soundly in line with the pop music trend of ambient piano-rock, seen in popular bands like Keane and Snow Patrol. While this song sounds fine, there is nothing remotely original about it — it is just following a trend.

The album ends with “Wonderful Life,” a failed attempt at a feel-good nostalgic number, which is just as insincere and unoriginal as the rest of the record (if not more so).

When the album came to a close, I felt worn out, and angry for having wasted my time on it. I would rather have spent my evening doing math homework.