EVERY YEAR, UNTOLD numbers of cinephiles and awards buffs put together their collective brains in an attempt to predict the Academy Awards. And then, when we’re right, and the better actor or picture loses to the predicted frontrunner, we whine about how the Oscars are worthless and swear we’ll never predict another category again for as long as we love George Clooney.

Yet every year, we come back for more. This year, with the 80th Academy Awards set to begin at 7 p.m. Sunday, my position on the Gargoyle staff allows me to make my predictions and analysis available to the public (i.e., more than just like-minded posters on Internet forums), and my only wish is that not more than two or three people make fun of me.

BEST PICTURE

Nominees:

• “Atonement”
• “Juno”
• “Michael Clayton”
• “No Country for Old Men”
• “There Will Be Blood”

Who Will Win:
“No Country for Old Men” has been steadily gaining steam since its pre-release buzz, and the fact that both the Coen brothers and supporting actor frontrunner Javier Bardem are overdue will carry it to the biggest win of the night. “There Will Be Blood” and “Juno,” riding the waves of considerable critical and box-office success, respectively, have outside chances at an upset — especially if “No Country for Old Men” and the polarizing “There Will Be Blood” split the Academy’s dark, male-centric votes between them and open up the playing field for the light, female-centric “Juno” to take home the big prize. My bet? It’s not likely that the “No Country” juggernaut will be defeated, due in no small part to having won awards from everyone and their mother. “Michael Clayton” should just be happy to be here, and “Atonement” — despite its Golden Globe win over “No Country for Old Men” — has all the hallmarks of an also-ran that peaked too soon, or never peaked at all.

Who Should Win:
“There Will Be Blood.” “No Country” is a brilliant film — a flawless film, even — and surely deserving of an Oscar, but “There Will Be Blood” is more than brilliant, more than flawless, and more deserving of the classic status it will come to claim.

BEST ACTOR

Nominees:

• George Clooney, “Michael Clayton”
• Daniel Day-Lewis, “There Will Be Blood”
• Johnny Depp, “Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street”
• Tommy Lee Jones, “In the Valley of Elah”
• Viggo Mortensen, “Eastern Promises”

Who Will Win:
Daniel Day-Lewis. The other nominations are just technicalities.

Who Should Win:
Ditto.

BEST ACTRESS

Nominees:

• Cate Blanchett, “Elizabeth: The Golden Age”
• Julie Christie, “Away from Her”
• Marion Cotillard, “La Vie en Rose”
• Laura Linney, “The Savages”
• Ellen Page, “Juno”

Who Will Win:
I was leaning toward Ellen Page until I actually saw “Juno,” and with the film a virtual lock for Original Screenplay, the Academy won’t need to find another way to reward it. Julie Christie’s buzz has not died down, and though it’s a wide-open race (with the exception of Blanchett, who hasn’t got a snowball’s chance in hell), I think she’s distinguished herself as the frontrunner amid stiff competition from Page, Marion Cotillard, and Laura Linney.

Who Should Win:
This is my most embarrassing category, as I’ve only seen Page. (“The Savages” and “Away from Her” never hit C-U, I inexplicably missed “La Vie en Rose,” and you couldn’t pay me enough to watch a sequel to “Elizabeth.”) I wouldn’t have a huge problem with her winning, as the acting (and Page in particular) was by far the film’s strongest suit, but I can’t help but feel she’s not an altogether deserving winner. I suppose it’s my fault for not having seen Cotillard, who by all accounts was stunning in an otherwise unremarkable film.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Nominees:

• Casey Affleck, “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford”
• Javier Bardem, “No Country for Old Men”
• Philip Seymour Hoffman, “Charlie Wilson’s War”
• Hal Holbrook, “Into the Wild”
• Tom Wilkinson, “Michael Clayton”

Who Will Win:
I hate to call two acting locks in a year, but Javier Bardem is as much of a sure thing as Day-Lewis. Frankly, if he doesn’t win, I’ll eat my hat. Better yet, I’ll never predict another Academy Awards again.

Who Should Win:
Bardem’s performance in “No Country” has been eating up awards left and right, and I couldn’t approve more. The other nominees should thank their lucky stars just to be there.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Nominees:

• Cate Blanchett, “I’m Not There”
• Ruby Dee, “American Gangster”
• Saoirse Ronan, “Atonement”
• Amy Ryan, “Gone Baby Gone”
• Tilda Swinton, “Michael Clayton”

Who Will Win:
With Amy Ryan’s buzz all but gone, Ruby Dee’s SAG award leaves the door wide open. Honestly, it could go to any one of Ryan, Dee, Cate Blanchett or Tilda Swinton. As of writing this, I’m leaning toward Swinton — Blanchett’s film was too polarizing, and the Oscars haven’t been giving out career Oscars often enough in the last decade or so to make Dee a legitimate frontrunner. Make note that this category will probably remain wide open up until the winner is announced.

Who Should Win:
I’ve actually only seen Swinton, Dee, and Ronan (who, despite a stellar performance, has got no shot whatsoever). Swinton is arguably the most talented actress of her generation, and if her visceral, scene-stealing turn in “Michael Clayton” isn’t enough to finally merit an Oscar, I don’t know what would be.

BEST DIRECTOR

Nominees:

• Paul Thomas Anderson, “There Will Be Blood”
• Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, “No Country for Old Men”
• Tony Gilroy, “Michael Clayton”
• Jason Reitman, “Juno”
• Julian Schnabel, “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”

Who Will Win:
An easier game than Best Picture. The Coens have been overdue since “Fargo” and the Academy knows it — whether this will aid “No Country”’s Best Picture run or vice versa will probably never be known, because both the directors and the picture itself are likely to leave the Kodak Theater with the title of Academy Award winners. Paul Thomas Anderson is next in line, and the long-overlooked auteur’s well-deserved hype presents the only realistic threat to the Coens, with Tony Gilroy lacking any sort of considerable buzz and Jason Reitman having missed out on a Director’s Guild nomination, an absolute must for a Director winner. The lack of a corresponding Best Picture nomination for “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” director Julian Schnabel means that, despite his DGA nomination, he hasn’t got a prayer of taking home the little gold guy on Sunday night.

Who Should Win:
I’m tempted to go with the Coens, but their stellar direction in “No Country for Old Men” did not, pound for pound, match the artistry and ambition of P.T. Anderson’s. If I weren’t strongly against the idea of make-up Oscars, the Coens’ catalogue in comparison to Anderson’s would give them a slight edge — as it is, the superior vision of Anderson makes his case for a first (long overdue) Oscar a clear one.

BONUS PICKS

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

• Brad Bird, “Ratatouille”
• Diablo Cody, “Juno”
• Tony Gilroy, “Michael Clayton”
• Tamara Jenkins, “The Savages”
• Nancy Oliver, “Lars and the Real Girl”

Who Will Win: Diablo Cody, “Juno”
Who Should Win: Tony Gilroy, “Michael Clayton”

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

• Paul Thomas Anderson, “There Will Be Blood”
• Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, “No Country for Old Men”
• Christopher Hampton, “Atonement”
• Ronald Harwood, “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”
• Sarah Polley, “Away from Her”

Who Will Win: Joel and Ethan Coen, “No Country for Old Men”
Who Should Win: Paul Thomas Anderson, “There Will Be Blood”

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE

• “Persepolis”
• “Ratatouille”
• “Surf’s Up”

Who Will Win: “Ratatouille”
Who Should Win: “Ratatouille”

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

• “12” (Russia)
• “Beaufort” (Israel)
• “The Counterfeiters” (Austria)
• “Katyn” (Poland)
• “Mongol” (Kazakhstan)

Who Will Win: “The Counterfeiters”
Who Should Win: Sad to say, I haven’t seen any of these.

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE

• “No End in Sight”
• “Operation Homecoming”
• “Sicko”
• “Taxi to the Darkside”
• “War/Dance”

Who Will Win: “No End in Sight”
Who Should Win: “Sicko”

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

• Roger Deakins, “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford”
• Roger Deakins, “No Country for Old Men”
• Robert Elswit, “There Will Be Blood”
• Janusz Kaminski, “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”
• Seamus McGarvey, “Atonement”

Who Will Win: Robert Elswit, “There Will Be Blood”
Who Should Win: Robert Elswit, “There Will Be Blood”

BEST ART DIRECTION

• “American Gangster”
• “Atonement”
• “The Golden Compass”
• “Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street”
• “There Will Be Blood”

Who Will Win: “There Will Be Blood”
Who Should Win: “Atonement”

BEST FILM EDITING

• Jay Cassidy, “Into the Wild”
• Roderick Jaynes (Joel and Ethan Coen), “No Country for Old Men”
• Tatiana S. Riegel and Dylan Tichenor, “There Will Be Blood”
• Christopher Rouse, “The Bourne Ultimatum”
• Juliette Welfling, “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”

Who Will Win: Roderick Jaynes (Joel and Ethan Coen), “No Country for Old Men”
Who Should Win: Tatiana S. Riegel and Dylan Tichenor, “There Will Be Blood”

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

• “300”
• “The Golden Compass”
• “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”
• “Transformers”

Who Will Win: “Transformers”
Who Should Win: “300”

BEST COSTUME DESIGN

• “Atonement”
• “Elizabeth: The Golden Age”
• “La Vie en Rose”
• “Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street”

Who Will Win: “Atonement”
Who Should Win: “Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street”

BEST MAKEUP

• “La Vie en Rose”
• “Norbit”
• “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”

Who Will Win: “La Vie en Rose”
Who Should Win: Not really relevant as I’ve only seen “Pirates of the Caribbean.”

BEST SOUND MIXING

• “3:10 to Yuma”
• “The Bourne Ultimatum”
• “No Country for Old Men”
• “Ratatouille”
• “Transformers”

Who Will Win: “No Country for Old Men”
Who Should Win: “Ratatouille”

BEST SOUND EDITING

• “The Bourne Ultimatum”
• “No Country for Old Men”
• “Ratatouille”
• “There Will Be Blood”
• “Transformers”

Who Will Win: “The Bourne Ultimatum”
Who Should Win: “No Country for Old Men”

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE

• Marco Beltrami, “3:10 to Yuma”
• Michael Giacchino, “Ratatouille”
• Dario Marianelli, “Atonement”
• James Newton Howard, “Michael Clayton”
• Alberto Iglesias, “The Kite Runner”

Who Will Win: Dario Marianelli, “Atonement”
Who Should Win: Dario Marianelli, “Atonement”

BEST ORIGINAL SONG

• “Falling Slowly” from “Once”
• “Happy Working Song” from “Enchanted”
• “Raise it Up” from “August Rush”
• “So Close” from “Enchanted”
• “That’s How You Know” from “Enchanted”

Who Will Win: “Falling Slowly”
Who Should Win: I couldn't care less.

Like every year, the three categories for short films are virtually unpredictable and will remain that way until they are announced. I usually predict something based on the title, and if I get more than two right, I throw them in there to boost my percentage.