Time flies. No one has to toss a clock out the window to prove that it does.

A few weeks ago, I wasn't reading the signs that school was coming to an end. Only now is it starting to dawn on me that I won't be taking classes every day in about eight days — a giant countdown clock has made it hard not to notice.

Well, if The Onion says so, it must be true.

Hardly anything in life feels better than a good laugh. With APs, finals, sectionals, and graduation on top of the usual amount of homework and studying we all have to do, nothing worsens our dose of [grade level]-itis better than a good dose of humor.

Sometimes, I don’t know what to think about professional athletes, and sometimes, I don’t know what to think about the people around them either.

When you’re in the air, everything looks a lot different. Almost nothing looks better than the top of a cloud. When the Assembly Hall looks like a small mushroom, it can be startling. But flying above the ground opened my eyes to something else. Well, a lot more than else.

The first day of April means something different to baseball fans than to most ordinary people. To them, it’s a day to joke, laugh, and pull pranks. To us, well, we have baseball on our minds by now. So after I make my bold baseball predictions, there will be no one shouting “April Fool” — unless I turn out to be wrong in October.

For four months, I really didn’t care about college basketball.

My team (everyone’s team) — Illinois — was having an unusually dreadful season. My interest waned as the Illini floundered at the bottom of the Big Ten standings, losing to Tennessee State, Ohio State, and Penn State (all in a row). Illinois’ other team and the NFL’s most hated team diverted my attention from college basketball entirely.

March is quite possibly the best month of the year. There’s St. Patrick's Day and March Madness; spring break and warmer temperatures. But for me, there’s one reason above all others that makes March a month better than any.

Cats don't have to do homework. They can sleep whenever they want. And when they break the house rules, the punishment is light, if at all existent. In other words, it's just the opposite of the life that I live.

Why, someone new to Uni might ask, would you give up a game of sports and a free period to do math problems (AMC 10/AMC 12) for an hour and a half in the morning?

There must be a pretty good reason.

Agora Days are coming back, everybody.

With the abysmal weather of late, and the workload of this semester starting to heat up, the coming break couldn’t come any sooner. Even though everyone has two take two “academic” classes, that still leaves six periods with which to play video games, watch a movie, or learn a martial art.

Sports fan or not, there’s an event on Sunday that you’re guaranteed to hear about for weeks to come — the Super Bowl.

Aside from everything to do with the election, the Super Bowl is the biggest event of the year in this country. Yesterday’s media day alone drew thousands of journalists (but I had to go to class). The game is always surrounded by tons of hype, and this year that hype is justified.

Next year, if you’re a varsity athlete, you may be forced to take a test a bit different from the ones for history or math class. A drug test.

At some point over my long, uneventful (and unusually warm) winter break, I came upon an interesting revelation: As soon as the second quarter ended, I was exactly halfway through my “Uni career.”

Last week, the game of baseball was changed forever. All it took was a 409-page report with 86 named players.

The Mitchell Report, released Thursday, identified some of the biggest names in the game. Then again, some of the names were … not so big.

"Does anyone have change for a five?”

"Can I have some of that food?"

"What did you get on the test?

These are three of the most popular questions at Uni. But after getting back the results of a major assessment — a test, paper, or project — the third question seems to become the most frequently asked. And that's not a good thing.