When I was in sixth grade, my best friend got braces. I thought they were really cool at the time, and I really wanted them. I didn’t care that they supposedly hurt, I didn’t care that you had to keep them on for a really long time — and which sixth grader cares about the money involved?

So, I was a little disappointed when my dentist told me that my teeth were great, and that I probably wouldn’t need braces.

Three years later she handed me a list of orthodontists I could see about my “problem.” Apparently, my lower jaw was growing too fast, meaning that I would look like an ape within a couple years. This could have jump-started my career in the circus industry, but otherwise, it would be a problem.

Now that I actually have braces, I couldn’t hate them more. It takes me a lot longer to take care of my teeth, and sometimes it seems like I’m doomed to eat mashed potatoes and applesauce for all eternity. I have so much metal in my mouth that I’m practically a walking lightning rod.

One consolation is that there’s a whole rainbow of colors to pick from to make them cooler. However, one mistake can make for an embarrassing smile (just look at my picture in last year’s yearbook).

Another plus of having them now is that I don’t have to worry about getting them as a grown-up. Not only do they look weird, but I’ve heard stories of adults getting carded at clubs because braces are considered a "kid thing." Probably not the greatest way to start a date.

Speaking of dates, imagine two people with braces “hooking up” (in the literal sense, of course) — that would make for an interesting trip to the emergency room.

But I guess they’re not all bad — they do fix your teeth, and if you take care of them they don’t look that bad. They’ve even become a popular fashion accessory in some countries — so much so that people try to get fake ones, or keep their real ones on as long as possible.

Nevertheless, having perfect teeth is way overemphasized in America. The UK is stuck with the bad dentistry stereotype, simply because they don’t send you off to the orthodontist for the tiniest flaw. Imperfections are what make people interesting.