There are many accessories that have eventually fallen out of use. Either current fashions make them passé, or people realize that it just isn’t worth the effort to wear them all day. The function that these clothing items served is either replaced by another less confining product, or not replaced at all, leaving people to lead freer and more enjoyable lives.

A primary example of uncomfortable and (mostly) extinct clothing would be suspenders. While you can still buy quirky rainbow colored suspenders in some stores, the traditional ones meant entirely for holding up dress pants are quite uncommon today. Suspenders, it would seem, were replaced by the more convenient and less noticeable belt.

However, I think we give the belt too much credit. To quote comedian Mitch Hedberg: “My belt holds my pants up, but my belt-loops hold up my belt. So who’s the real hero?”

To me, belts symbolize oppression. People should not have to choose a belt hole that would make the belt too tight or too loose, or worse, attempt to poke a new hole in thick leather with a flimsy piece of metal.

Even if you find a belt that matches your shoes, or whatever it’s supposed to match, there is still the issue of looking and feeling very uptight. While you could always look really cool with a huge shiny belt buckle, especially if it spells your name or outlines the state of Texas, I would consider these more along the lines of “statement-making” pants holder-uppers, similar to rainbow suspenders.

As history progresses, I think that we ought to get rid of the belt entirely. But it has its fans nationwide. Just recently some areas of Louisiana passed legislation making it illegal to “sag” your pants in public. Offenders face up to six months in jail and a $500 fine.

So, it appears we may not get rid of the belt for quite some time. Yet regardless of how you feel about this accessory, I believe that we can all agree it's ridiculous to use a belt or lack thereof as reason for punishment. Doesn't the judicial system have enough control over our lives without policing the location of our waistbands?