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Column: Peter Pan was right; growing up is overrated
“I won't grow up
I don't wanna go to school
Just to learn to be a parrot
And recite a silly rule
If growing up means it would be
Beneath my dignity to climb a tree
I'll never grow up
Never grow up
Never grow up
Not me!”
AHH … PETER PAN. How right you are.
More than just not wanting to worry about college and grad school and a career, I don't to be responsible for myself.
My parents have cared for me for 16 years now, and despite all of my teenage rebellion, it is actually a great thing.
I know that I will have food, a house, an education. I know that my parents will care for me when I am sick, that they will pay for my expenses, protect me, and, well, be my parents.
So what happens when I have to grow up and do all that for myself?
Consider how organized you have to become. Working, budgeting, scheduling — all these things enter into the equation in a way they never have before. It is no longer a matter of deciding whether I want to take Anat/Phys or Bug Bio next year. Now I have to decide whether to take a full load of grad school courses, on top of a part-time job, and along with an unpaid internship that may result in a full job offer.
Choices carry more weight; there is more at stake and there is more to consider.
Another example: My family is moving to Evanston next year, and we just bought a house. The idea that I may have to one day buy a house is frightening — that I will have to worry about saving money, making a down payment, then paying a monthly mortgage.
Thoughts like that diminish college to a four-year-long summer camp. Even though you are living on your own, your parents are still paying for everything; they are still making sure that you are doing all right.
The only new things for you to worry about are keeping up your grades without parental incentive/punishment, eating food (which they are still buying for you), and going to the campus health center when you are sick.
I know I think of college as the defining moment, the time when I move out of the house and become an adult. But, in truth, how much do you grow up? How much do you have to care for yourself?
Perhaps this is more of an ode to parents, rather than a true complaint about growing up. Am I actually scared of the time when I can fly to Australia on a whim? Absolutely not! I want to be able to do things for myself; I want to control my own life.
But I do think that all of the things adults have to deal with are diminished by us teenagers. I think we take our parents for granted. And, I think we barrel forward, always looking to the next birthday. We speak in terms of “I can't wait until I am grown up.”
We don't realize that one day, when we are old and decrepit, we are going to want all those years back. We don't realize that these are some of the best years of our lives, that we really have no worries, and that the future simply brings taxes.
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— Gargoyle staff blog entry: I won't grow up
