Been feeling down, lately? Had trouble finishing your homework? Do you find yourself getting angry at your friends for no reason or refusing to talk to your family? Is the only way you can keep yourself happy is to play ridiculous(ly awesome) Facebook games when you should be writing history papers?

Ask your doctor about Springbreakolex. It's the innovative new cure that was invented many decades ago for the slump that comes with those dreary months of January, February, and March (and April and May and August and September and October and November).

It starts working up to five days before you take it, and lasts until April. Springbreakolex makes you unbelievably giddy, and when it first starts working, it gives you that feeling that if you have to wait any longer, you'll just explode, so you're possessed with a need to do homework in order to keep your mind off thoughts of the wonderful week to come.

When taken, Springbreakolex immediately increases feelings of relaxation and lackadaisy that last for an entire week, and temporarily eliminates all thoughts of school.

You should not take Springbreakolex if you are the president of the United States (because you've taken too much already*).

Side effects include severe laziness, an inability to concentrate, sunburns, a major dent in your reading list, sand in your shoes, extreme fun, a lack of money, airsickness, a lack of interest in school for the next few weeks, and possible death by shark attack or something.

Springbreakolex will not protect you from STDs, alcohol poisoning, heart attacks, becoming pregnant, allergic reactions to shellfish, getting a cold, or the homework you forgot to finish before you left.

Contact your doctor to see if Springbreakolex is right for you (which it most definitely is).

Hang in there, guys. It's less than a week away!

* This little jab was not meant to be offensive to anyone who might like our current president. It's supposed to be mildly funny. He takes a lot of vacations, you know?