A scene from last year's prom at the Alice Campbell Alumni Center. Gargoyle photo by Linda Song (click to enlarge)

The official Prom '08 online invitation as designed by junior class president Isaac Chambers. Graphic courtesy Isaac Chambers (click to enlarge)

Note: Last week, Gargoyle assistant editor Elaine Gu gave advice on how to ask somebody to prom. In response, fellow staff member Lauren Piester offers her own suggestions as the OG prom guide continues.

IN SUCH A liberal school as Uni, a lot of “traditional” ideas of high school just get totally thrown out the window. One such idea is that prom is for heterosexual couples in which the guy does the asking and the paying, and the girl thanks him by looking pretty in a long poofy princess dress.

Come on. This is Uni. This is the 21st century. Shouldn’t we be over that?

I know a couple girls who are seriously considering wearing jeans to prom, and a guy or two who at least momentarily thought about wearing a dress. I know a ton of girls who have asked guys to prom. I know a lot of girls who are going with other girls. I know people who are going without dates.

Basically, I know more people breaking the “traditional” laws of prom than people who are following them. So I thought it would benefit to have a different view on the idea of prom dates.

The deadline to RSVP for prom is even faster approaching than it was last week, and many people I know are still scrambling for dates, attempting to get up the courage to ask someone they really like or trying to send telepathic messages to the loves of their lives to get them to ask.

Do you really need a date? Or at least a romantic one? Unless you’re already dating, do you really want to be tied down to one person for the whole night? Do you want to have to worry about whether or not it’s OK for you to dance with other people? Or what if you really like the person you’re going with, but they want to dance, and you don’t, or vice versa?

I can totally understand the idea of going with a good friend just to get the cheaper ticket price. That’s what I’m probably going to end up doing. Plus, that’s much less awkward. And I’m all for ensuring as little awkwardness as possible.

Then, if there’s someone you really like, you can ask them to dance. That’s much easier and requires much less commitment than asking them to be your date. And if you’re meant to be together forever, things can still take their course.

If you do want a romantic date, then I’ve got several ideas on how to achieve this:

• Just ask. Go up to your crush/friend and be like: “Hi. Will you go to prom with me?” Or you could be a little more subtle, I guess. “So, uh, yeah, whatcha doing on the night of May 17? ’Cause I was wondering if maybe you’d like to go to this dance with me …” What do you have to lose?

• Write it on the chalkboard — in a classroom you know he or she will be in (like a friend of mine so kindly did for me, thank you very much Rachel Skoza; unfortunately, it didn’t actually work in this case). “Dear Joe, Will you go to prom with Guineviere? Love, Guineviere.”

• Make a giant sign — and put it on his or her locker. You can put sparkles on it and make really cool bubble letters, or it can just be very simple. If you’re not wanting to broadcast to the world that you’re asking Ronald to the prom, then you can put it inside his locker.

• YouTube it. I heard that someone I know was going to ask someone else I know by making a YouTube video. In my opinion, that is a surefire way to make someone fall in love with you, unless the video is really badly done or really racist or something.

• Write a song/poem. “Your eyes are so pretty/ You make me pur like a kitty/ Oh Miranda Magoo/ I want to go to prom with you/ I have one simple plea/ Will you please go to prom with me?” (Be quiet. I did not say it had to be a very good song.) This could even be incorporated into the YouTube video. You could make a music video.

And if you do get a date, make sure you guys discuss the evening before it happens, so that you know if it’s all right to dance with other people or not, and who’s paying for dinner and such. Don’t be afraid to ask your date. These are things you need to know.

I hope that my ideas have helped you in some way with your promular issues (can that be a new adjective, please?). And if you don’t have a date, don’t sweat it. No one is going to be like “OMG, Glinda doesn’t have a date. She’s such a loser.” Forget about “tradition.” Tradition is lame. Pshaw.

All in all, whatever your prom situation may be, don’t forget to have a good time. You don’t want all these months/weeks/days of anxiety and stress and gossip and Gargoyle articles to all just be for a few awkward hours of silent, half-hearted butt-swaying in a fancy outfit.