Have Uni dances crossed the line? What's so bad about the way kids dance today?

By Michelle Gao, Avanti Chajed & Ranny Ma
Gargoyle staff reporters
Posted Saturday, Nov. 18, 2006, The OG, news & in depth

IMAGINE THIS: YOU stand in Uni's North Attic, with Sir Mix-a-Lot's “Baby Got Back” blaring from speakers near the stage. Sources of light have been strategically placed around the room and illuminate as little as possible. Red, pink, and white streamers hang from the ceiling and some have fallen to the floor. Masses of students are sandwiched together to form a huge “grind line” that curves around the room like a snake, and their bodies sway from side to side as they are pressed together. For some students and chaperones, this contact was a little too sexual. But …

“All dancing is really about sex,” said history teacher Chris Butler. And just like that, dancing was summed up in six words. It's true; dancing with a partner is, by nature, a sensuous interaction. However, several Uni faculty members, a few students, and some parents have been saying that the level of sexuality at Uni dances during recent years has been far too high ever since grinding began at dances. Though the definition of grinding varies slightly from person to person, it involves close contact between bodies and moving hips from side to side.

“At the faculty meeting [just before the current school year started], the issue of dancing was raised,” Director/Principal Kassie Patton said. “And at the meeting, we were discussing about why teachers are reluctant to chaperone dances, and we discovered that just about all of the teachers feel uncomfortable being in the room while sexually explicit acts are going on.”

She went on to explain that parents assume that their kids are going to be in a controlled environment where everyone is having a good time but not in an overly sexual way. The problem that most parents and teachers have is with the grinding.

When asked to define the words “overly sexual,” Patton said: “I don't know. Everyone has a different definition. I think the problem our chaperones are having is with the, um, is when there is contact between genital areas and movement.”

A new sensation across the nation

The “grinding problem” is in fact nationwide. A high school in Concord, N.H., announced in September that it would cancel all of its dances for the rest of the year unless students stopped grinding. However, an administrator at that school defines grinding as when “the girl leans forward and the boy puts his pelvis against her backside. Then, he thrusts.”

Are things at Uni really so bad as that? When Uni students were asked if that definition matched what they thought of as grinding, the general response was, “No way!”

Even other high schools in Champaign-Urbana have a different definition of what is going too far.

Sophomore Annie Machesky attended Centennial's homecoming and had this to say: “The chaperones also didn't seem to care, and even the teachers ignored the [casual] makeout [sessions]. I would have to say I enjoyed it a lot more than [Uni] dances [because] you could actually dance and no one really cared. Also, I didn't know many of the teachers/parents, so I was a lot more carefree.”

It keeps going and going …

One parent who chaperoned last year's winter formal said: “The faculty who were chaperoning stated to me, a first-time chaperone, at the beginning of the night, that I should not hesitate to separate couples who were dancing inappropriately, but did not define what that meant. Although two faculty members were out on the dance floor in addition to me, I never saw either one of them separate any couples or speak to them about their ‘dance behavior,' no matter how raunchy it got.”

The same parent went on to say that she felt uncomfortable separating couples because she didn't know any of them, and because the faculty members had not set a good example for her to follow.

However, Assistant Director Sue Kovacs said that students sometimes don't listen even if they are told that they are dancing in an unacceptable manner.

“Last year, I had a lot of trouble with [that],” she said. “I hated being [on the dance floor], and other chaperones did, too. Ms. Evans [art teacher Lisa Evans] said she would never chaperone a dance again, and she's not one of the more uptight teachers.”

The times have changed

“I don't think [grinding] is sexual; it's just dancing, and people are having fun out there,” junior Chumar Williams said.

And therein lies the problem: the definition of “overly sexual.” Many students such as Williams don't consider grinding to be as significant as the faculty and some parents are making it sound. They don't see grinding as “dry sex,” as Kovacs put it. Both students and administration agree that the generation gap is one of the big factors in the differences of opinion.

Another concern that the administration and some parents have brought up is the fact that Uni is a five-year high school with students varying in age from as young as 11 to as old as 18. What might be appropriate for older students is not necessarily appropriate for underclassmen.

A possible solution suggested by multiple students is to have separate dances: some for upperclassmen, and some for lowerclassmen. However, students who disagree with that idea say dances are meant to bring students together, and separate dances would have exactly the opposite effect. In addition, younger students are not necessarily the only ones who feel uncomfortable about dirty dancing. According to Kovacs, numerous juniors and seniors feel uncomfortable at dances as well.

Dissension in the ranks

History teacher Chris Butler conducted a survey last year asking 30 seniors how they felt about dancing. He was surprised at the large number of people who said they were fine with dirty dancing. The students who felt uncomfortable at dances were in the minority. He was also surprised to find that gender made no difference as to whether students felt uncomfortable or not.

The Gargoyle conducted its own informal survey. The responses ranged from mild interest in the controversy to anger over the attempts to restrict how students dance.

“I think that it's fine if others do ‘dirty dancing,' because it's not like anyone who doesn't want to is being forced to dance like that,” subfreshman Katayun Salehi said.

Senior Jeremy Pillow wrote in an e-mail: “They are taking our rights. They need to learn that just [because] they didn't [dance like this], doesn't mean we can't. Also they should know that a s**tload of people won't go [to dances if dance policies are changed].”

Greg Atherton, a sophomore, said: “I really really don't like the concept [of grinding], and I think it's vaguely immoral. [It's] not horrible, despicable, or terrible, but [it's] really not right.”

What would our parents say to this?

The reactions from parents have varied as much as that of the students.

“I chaperoned one dance last year,” parent Tom Skoza wrote in an e-mail. “Despite several warnings [I received beforehand] about egregious dancing, I saw nothing of note. … All in all an OK dance, no problems.”

Added Laurie Mikva: “Although I personally find the Uni dance music undanceable, I think dancing is a great thing for teenagers to do, no matter the form.”

Kathy Grill, who is a Uni alum as well as a Uni parent, offered this advice to her peers:
“It's a chaperone's job to tell overly amorous couples to take it outside. Simply saying the following works wonders: ‘Really, kids, you're making everyone uncomfortable. Please do that in private.' Beyond that, obvious bumping and grinding indicates to me that the kids simply don't know how to dance.”

You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out …

Grill's sentiment was echoed by a student when Patton and math executive teacher Craig Russell took the issue to Student Council earlier this year.

“We don't know how to dance any other way,” senior Devin Johnson said at the meeting, where Student Council members were asked to come up with possible solutions to concerns about Uni dances.

At one point at last year's prom, Kovacs said, the DJ attempted to teach students other forms of dancing. This caused an epiphany: If students claimed to not know how to dance in ways that didn't involve grinding, they would just have to be taught.

Kovacs said that at future dances, instructors might come in at the start to showcase some moves.

“There are ways of moving to a fast dance that are fun that don't involve grinding,” she said.

Fighting the power

One of the main points students have brought up is that the number of people who attend dances would decrease dramatically if they were no longer allowed to dance the way they are accustomed to.

Patton agrees.

“Making new rules is not the best way to fix any situation,” she said. “Uni has typically let students have a free reign, and has let them have a voice in making big decisions. I want to solve this problem in a very Uni kind of way, and let the students have a say.”

The faculty also wants students to know that if new rules are made, they are not meant to punish. They know very well the futility of trying to suppress determined Uni students. Last year's Valentine's Day grind line (see photo above) was a prime example of students fighting against suppression after they were told there had to be distance between their bodies at the dance.

And rebellion is not what anyone wants. Uni is pretty unique in the fact that students and teachers have friendlier relationships than at most other schools. It is not uncommon to see students and teachers in animated conversation in the halls at lunchtime, or before or after school. When teachers are embarrassed and uncomfortable about the grinding at dances, the relationship becomes a little strained.

A middle ground

The administration took the problem of “dirty dancing” to Student Council because Patton and Kovacs wanted the entire school to work together. A compromise must be reached; if students and teachers are constantly pushing against each other, it will either end in unsuccessful dances, or no dances at all.

So, really, a large part of the power lies in the hands of the students. For instance, there have been complaints about “hands resting in inappropriate places” during slow dances — e.g., a boy's hand on a girl's bottom. No student can make the claim that they don't know how to dance without their hands in unacceptable places. This is a clear example of how students and faculty can compromise.

One of the suggestions that teachers have made is to turn on the lights if the dancing gets too inappropriate, which might make students more aware of what is going on around them.

More parent chaperones might also cut down on the grinding. Students are much less likely to dance in inappropriate ways if their own parents, or parents of close friends, are there to witness it.

To solve the problem of questionable music, student DJs will be required by the administration to play the “clean” versions of songs (which they were supposed to have been doing anyway). If student DJs are unable or refuse to do so, Patton said the school could hire professional DJs who would play “clean” music instead.

A new vision

So what would a “clean” dance look like? The funk dance held in the North Attic on Sept. 23 was a prime example of how the administration would like future dances to look. The music still blared from the speakers, but it was funk music that had no dirty lyrics.

And, indeed, the music seemed to set the tone for the night: Imagine once again that you're standing in the middle of the North Attic, but this time there is no grinding whatsoever. Some students are walking out the door with disgust written all over their faces, and more line the walls. You hear the words “undanceable” and “music” used together in many a conversation.

However, even more students swarm around you on the dance floor, trying their best to dance to the funk music, and laugh as they watch their fellow classmates. They seem to be having a genuinely good time, smiling and singing along to the occasional song they know as they disco around. They seemed to enjoy the freedom of dancing however they want to (with the exception of grinding).

“The point of the funk dance was kind of to be crazy,” senior Jonathon Baron said.

Students weren't the only ones who thought that.

“I think the funk dance was the first dance I truly enjoyed as an adult,” Kovacs said. “I only asked two students to modify their dancing. I think it was wildly successful.”

Reaching harmony

The students who enjoyed the funk dance are on one side of the spectrum, while the students who left after staying for a mere five minutes are on the other. While some of the suggestions that teachers have made are acceptable and easy to fix (the clean versions of songs and/or keeping hands around waist level), students and chaperones must learn to compromise.

If students are willing to change some of the things that the administration takes issue with, the administration in turn should also learn to be slightly more understanding and try to see where the pro-grinding students are coming from.