MICHELLE GAO
Gargoyle co-editor-in-chief
Posted Tuesday, Nov. 20, 2007

AFTER SKIPPING BREAKFAST because of a lack of hunger, and then skipping lunch because of a need to finish some homework, I was starving after school. And I was more than ready to dig into my delicious lunch after school.

The problem? Moochers.

If I have announced after school, or even during lunch, that I am hungry, it means that I want to eat all of my lunch by myself. If someone else doesn’t have a lunch at all, I might be willing to share a little bit. If someone has something else that they want to trade me some food for, I’m quite willing. If I’m not hungry for some reason or another, I don’t mind sharing food.

My problem is this: people taking — no, stealing — food when I am hungry and have announced that fact. If I say no, then I really mean no. It doesn’t mean, Oh, you can stick your fingers into my food and take some while I go get a drink of water, and then laugh about it when I come back.

It is not, in fact, smooth to eat someone’s food while they are gone. It is even more despicable if you don’t apologize for it afterward.

I personally lack the ability to stay mad at people if they haven’t done something terrible, and I am usually unable to keep a straight face while yelling at someone for taking my food.

But I really am extremely angry, and sometimes I feel like crying a little bit. It’s not just the matter of the stolen food. It’s the fact that I made a request that something be left alone, and I wasn’t respected enough for that request to be granted.

It seems unnecessary to blow up at people. “It was just a little bit!” they usually protest, and they’re right.

But if “a little bit” gets taken every day, the frustration builds. All I want is to eat my own lunch in peace, without having people asking for food — or even worse, just taking without asking at all. I don’t want to feel guilty when people make sad faces when I say no to them, and then give in because I feel bad. Is that too much to ask?

In addition, if I do say that you can have some food, then please don’t go for the best part. Whenever I give anyone food, they go straight for the meat, which I usually don’t have that much of. If I tell you so, please don’t say, “But I don’t want anything else.” If you don’t want anything else, then get away from me and my lunch, and let me eat.

If you ask for my lunch on a day when I am particularly hungry, also do not answer, “I already ate mine,” if I ask where your own lunch is. I will not feel sorry for you. In fact, I will probably tell you that it is your own problem that you didn’t bring enough.

I am aware that this column will probably make me sound a little mean. That’s not how I’m supposed to come off.

This is supposed to be a cry for help from an upset and slightly bitter and frustrated senior girl who has spent her (almost) five years at Uni having her lunch stolen every day.

So please, people: Bring your own food, and eat it. Trade if you’d like. Give it away if you’re not hungry. But stay away from mine.