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Editorial: When should quitting be an option?

SUE PERDOOPER, CLASS of 2008, was founder of the Knitting Mittens for Homeless Kittens Club, which holds meetings twice a week in the North Attic. She is yearbook editor after four tiresome years on the staff (she won the yearbook spelling bee each year), and as star left-side for the girls volleyball team she was an integral part of last year’s 30-0 season.

Dedicated is an understatement when it comes to describing Perdooper who, although she doesn’t exist in reality, does exist in each of the Gargoyle senior editors in one way or another. Whether we have devoted the past four years to a club, sports team, or academic pursuit, we each have a passion, which we have pursued for a considerable length of time wholeheartedly and almost narrow-mindedly.

What happens, though, when midway through the year Perdooper decides that she no longer enjoys picking up her knitting needles to make another pair of warm red fluffy mittens, or designing another senior page in the yearbook, or spending two hours of her afternoon serving and hitting volleyballs?

Perdooper has not just been hit with a particularly deadly case of senioritis; instead she has realized that her passions, which once lit sparks in her eyes, are no longer self-satisfying and fun.

She wants to take up Pilates at the local YMCA and pursue her childhood dream of horseback riding near St. Joseph. She wants to watch Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass on "Gossip Girl." She wants to read a book. In short, our imaginary senior wants to engage in activities that were previously tossed aside in order to create time for her club, the yearbook, or volleyball practice.

So what should she do?

Should she give up her Knitting Mittens for Homeless Kittens, her editorship, and varsity volleyball, and thereby let down hundreds of kittens, the rest of the yearbook staff, and her coach and teammates?

Or should she just suck it up and pull through the rest of the year doing activities (that she despises) for the sake of others?

We, the Gargoyle senior editors, do not have firm answers to these questions. In fact, each of us has our own opinion on what Perdooper, and others like her, should do.

Ranging from defiant voices in favor of quitting to adamant assertions that quitting is worse than homeless kittens, we each have crafted a paragraph or two (or more) in response to Perdooper's predicament. We hope that you will comment and do the same.

Sarah Pfander says: I’m going to put it out there right away. I have a problem with quitters. I don’t think they are bad people, it doesn’t change my opinion of them, I try to respect their final decision. But, it just doesn’t sit well with me when someone bails on a commitment.

Admittedly, there are the activities that one has participated in for more years than can be counted on one hand. At some point, quitting will just make more sense than continuing. Even hardcore dancers probably can't go on taking lessons forever, unless they plan to dance professionally.

But, if we are talking about the four-year participation in high school extracurricular activities, it seems flakey to quit when the length of the commitment is so short. And, senior year cop-outs are the worst.

Everyone gets senioritis. Everyone questions the past three years. I wonder if there were other things I could have done with my time. I rarely want to go to sports practice or finish my homework just because I’m sick of doing the same thing day after day. But, I think that this is a dissatisfaction that we have to fight through because usually by our senior year, there is more expected of us.

So we have to stick it out, play through, satisfy the goals that we have set for ourselves and fulfill our obligations to the people around us. Because even though I mostly play sports for me, I can't minimize the role that those around me would play in a decision to quit. I owe a ridiculous amount of respect and loyalty to my coaches. I love my teammates. These people have stuck with me over the years. It seems fairly logical that I would return the favor. There is more holding me on a team than my immediate feelings about the sport.

In addition, say I did quit. I won’t make any leaps and bounds, do new exciting things with my time if I free myself up for one year. If I don’t play soccer this coming spring, I’m not going to start some amazing project. I am going to sit on my butt and watch TV. That’s not more productive, that’s not a better use of my time. Why give up on a commitment for that?

Come guys, it’s only one more year. You can do it.

Shivani Khanna says: You should do activities in high school because you find them fun and enriching. I know that’s why I do them. So to force yourself to do these activities when they no longer fulfill you and bring you joy is an outrageous concept to me.

And sure, I believe that dedication, commitment, and respect for your teammates, fellow club members, and coaches are absolutely essential, but the question “Who are you doing these activities for?” should always be asked.

And if you’re no longer doing the activities for yourself anymore but for your teammates, coaches, parents, or college résumés, then quitting should be an option for you free of guilt trips from the aforementioned people or anyone else really.

High school is the time when you can explore theater, athletics, Family Guy Club, and various academic subjects. To have to pigeonhole yourself so early in life is unfair and quite atrocious, actually. You should be allowed to dip your feet into new passions and hone different interests as you grow and mature.

Too often I find myself wishing there were a few extra hours in the day so that I could learn how to salsa, or read great books, or take a nap in the sun.

Your time is valuable so you should spend it doing things you really want to do. After all, if you can’t do them now when else can you do them?

Kumars Salehi says: During preseason soccer training in June of this past summer, I picked up a hip flexor injury that kept me sidelined for two months.

Despite long periods of rest and physical therapy, when I returned to training, my hip problem returned and this time I was sidelined for the entire season, and then some. Bitterness and denial of my passion for the sport ensued, and I simply could not bring myself to show “dedication” by showing up to a single game, much less practice.

Essentially, once I was no longer fit to play, I decided to no longer be a member of the team. I could have allegedly contributed to the team by imparting the wisdom and support of a player who helped hold down the JV defense for two years and was the first-choice substitute for both left- and right-back for much of my junior season.

I could have “supported” the team. But I didn’t, because, frankly, I didn’t feel I had any real obligation. I imagine that I sound like a colossal jerk expressing my feelings about this, but it’s true — once fate and my failure to stretch properly had marginalized my role in my senior season, I had more important things to do with my time than spend two hours a day sitting and watching my teammates play.

It sounds self-centered, but during a period as incredibly stressful and pivotal as the first semester of senior year, every Uni student has a right to be self-centered.

Andrea Park says: As a veteran of these types of dilemmas, I have one piece of advice to those who want to quit their respective commitment: Think hard about it. Seriously. Last year I had a swimming season just short of disastrous. I told myself midway through the season that if I didn’t improve my times by state, I would quit. No questions asked.

However, when state did roll around, and I swam quite horrendously, I couldn’t bring myself to quit. Why? Because swimming has become something that defines me, it has become a part of my identity. It wasn’t quite that simple to throw away all of those hours of practice crammed into nine difficult years of swimming and quit.

So what I did end up doing is take a break from mid-March to August where I only swam a couple of times a week. During this time I was able to do things that I never had the time to do before: I read Salinger novels, watched a multitude of Korean soap operas, and practiced painting and drawing. And I’m not going to lie that I was tempted more than once to quit swimming altogether after tasting the new freedoms of an open schedule.

But looking back I’m so glad I didn’t quit, and I’m even gladder that I was able to take a break from the sport. Those few months off really helped me put things in perspective. I realized that my self worth is not based on shaving a couple seconds off a time, and that I actually do love to swim. So, from personal experience, I would tell all those conflicted souls out there to first take a break before making the rash decision of quitting.

Michelle Gao says: First of all, Sue, I don’t understand why you would no longer want to knit mittens for kittens. Kittens are cute, but they're even cuter with mittens. What would they do without you? I have no doubt that you, overachiever as you are, have helped train many other talented people, but those kittens need you.

But cute baby kittens aside, I can understand exactly how you’re feeling. Now that you have college applications to stress over, everything else seems to take the back seat. There’s always that wretched question at the back of your mind: GPA or good application essays? And on top of that, do you want to put your social life on hold? Do you want to remember your senior year of high school as a blur of anxiety and high tension?

Oh, questions. Well, personally, I would stop being an overachiever. You don’t have to do everything. But aren’t there things that you do like? What made you start knitting mittens for kittens in the first place? Is the yearbook really that boring, and do you play volleyball to win or for the friendships?

I personally dedicate a lot of extra time outside of school to theater, and it is very, very time-consuming. Sometimes, during tech week, there’s nothing I would like to do more than just collapse and not wake up for several years. There are times when I feel that I would very much like to yell at people I like very much because I am so irritable. But there’s always an overwhelming sense that everything is worth it later, after an actual performance.

So, Sue, here’s my advice: Try and find the reasons why you started doing all those activities in the first place. If you aren’t finding any enjoyment whatsoever in what you’re doing, then forget it. It’s your senior year in high school. While I think it’s a little sad that it took you this long to figure out those things just weren’t working for you, don’t keep prolonging the pain.

Carl Zielinski says: I don’t think that quitting is in and of itself a bad thing. There can come a time when you just have to own up to the fact that your activities simply aren’t pleasurable anymore.

While I’ve enjoyed my three years on the cross-country team, I don’t think I would continue running competitively if I had another year at Uni. Like most things, my likes and dislikes change over time, such that blindly continuing something I enjoyed sophomore year would be foolish. To quit in such a situation would be perfectly fine in my opinion. What I do isn’t up to my coaches or teammates.

It’s my decision.

For example, I won’t be running track this spring. While I found it enjoyable last year, I don’t think I will find any pleasure in the early mornings or back-breaking workouts this year. However, it’s not just that I don’t want to work. If that were the case, I wouldn’t quit, because I need something to fill up my time second semester.

In this case, however, I have an activity in mind to take its place. I plan on auditioning for Big Show, and with any luck I’ll get a part. If I don’t, I’ll still probably help with production. Even as late as last year, I never would have done such a thing. This is just an indication that tastes change as we grow.

Alex Zhai says: As a general rule, people should do the things that interest them. As another general rule, people cannot choose to be interested in things that they’re not.

Sometimes, even after years of commitment to a certain activity, it’s time to move on. The reality is that something you enjoy at one point in life isn’t always something you will enjoy for the rest of your life.

In high school, most of the things you do are really quite insignificant in the larger scheme of things. Thus, no one should feel any obligation to their team or other organization to continue something they have truly lost interest in. They will eventually have to quit anyway and, lacking motivation, will probably not be performing at full ability.

At the same time, however, it is important to think carefully before quitting anything altogether. It takes commitment to get the most out of any experience, and championship teams are made of dedicated players.

In the end, though, when you stop enjoying one of your pursuits, it’s healthy to take a break or, eventually, to quit.

Comments

Quitting

I really enjoyed reading each of your perspectives!

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