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Column: Idiocy to the max
Published: Monday, March 3, 2008 - 12:45am
IT SEEMS LIKE weekend parties are more popular than ever.
Not pool parties, or backyard barbecues, or pin-the-tail-on- the-donkey parties.
These are let’s-be-rebellious-and-get-really-drunk-and-high- because-our-lives-suck-so-much parties.
And I have a question.
Why the heck would anyone think that sounds like fun?
Seriously. Who thinks of putting some illegal plants and chemicals and poison into their bodies and honestly (not sarcastically) says: “Oh, man, that sounds so awesome! Let’s spend every single one of our free evenings doing that!”
That just does not sound like a party to me. It sounds like possibly the stupidest idea in the entire world.
Then, on the Monday or Tuesday after the party, you come to school, and you sit there in the lounge and you talk loudly about how drunk you got on Saturday night, and how you can’t remember anything. Or you gossip about how so and so made out (or went even further) with so and so.
Yeah, that’s a good idea. Talk about it in loud voices at school, so that everyone, including the teachers and administrators, can hear how wonderfully amazing your lives are, and how you are just so cool and grown-up that you can drink and smoke and do who knows what else to your heart’s content and not … well, die.
I mean, really, that’s the only thing you haven’t yet achieved. You’ve drunk so much and gotten so high that you’ve puked and passed out and lost all memory of your weekends and killed half your brain cells and destroyed most of your liver and done who knows what with who knows who (but it’s OK, because you don’t remember any of it), but hey, you’re not dead.
Good job. You’ve managed to sink yourself into a totally pathetic existence totally dependent on breaking the law and causing harm to yourself just to stay relatively “happy,” but you’re still alive, so what’s the harm, right?
It’s not like some day you’re going to want to be something, someone important, with a purpose in life. It’s not like this will eventually catch up with you, or anything. You know, it won’t sneak up on you in the form of liver disease or lung cancer or death or something a future boss digs up out of your past and uses against you when you apply for a job, or anything, right?
Then, when you’re “bragging” to whoever will listen, there’s those awkward moments when you notice that I can totally hear everything you’re saying. Or those even more awkward moments when you realize that you’re actually kind of talking to me. Then, even knowing full well how I feel about what you're doing, you try and “comfort” me, by saying that I can come to your next shindig.
Aw, thanks. That’s so nice of you to invite me.
I will so definitely be there. Oh my gosh, I’ll even bring some random gross-tasting alcohol that I will sneak out of my parents’ secret liquor stash! I’m so excited!
Actually, I’m kind of insulted that you think I would have any desire to go to one of your parties. I think I’d rather jump on a pile of broken glass, barefooted, and then soak my feet in salt water.
I probably seem really over-dramatic, but it seems like the "subtle hints" from health class, school administrators, TV, movies, commercials, and billboards haven't gotten through to you yet. Is there anything that can? Or are you just so lost and so convinced that you're going to live forever that no warnings mean anything to you anymore?
Aren’t we supposed to be smart? Aren’t we supposed to be breaking through those high school stereotypes? Yet you are the embodiment of the worst, most unintelligent of all high school stereotypes, and that’s including the preppy, obnoxious, short-skirt-wearing cheerleaders who think Indonesia is medicine for indigestion.
Do you really belong at one of the best high schools in the country if you're just going to throw your life away on drugs and alcohol?
So, I no longer ever want to hear about your stupid freaking pretending-to-be-fun-but-actually- just-pity-parties-in-disguise parties again, OK? So stop sitting there saying, “Omg, we got so wasted the other night. I don’t even remember what happened.” Or “Omg, I need to get wasted so badly.”
Isn't "wasted" just one of those adjectives that, by definition, most people would try to avoid being? It just doesn't sound appealing.
I know, life is stressful, especially life at Uni. I know that we all need some sort of release, but why does it have to be something harmful and stupid?
Anyway, I just wanted to let all you potheads, alcoholics, and druggies know that I have completely lost all respect for you, and that you’re all complete idiots.
Also, for the last time, please stop lamenting loudly about how you got so high last weekend that you couldn’t find your own nose. I don’t want to hear it anymore.
Have fun in rehab, and I hope you’ll still be alive at our 20th high school reunion.
Comments
Really?
Honestly I don't know of anyone who is currently attending Uni that has thrown their life away with drugs and alcohol...
Okay, so completely
Okay, so completely honestly, I understand what you're saying about the drugs and alcohol, however, here's my deal. Your article is not a professional well thought out column, but merely a rant. First, if the point of your article is to stop people from doing anything, you failed. All your article sounds like is that you’re whining because you were never invited to any of these so called "parties." Not to mention, if your article is trying to stop people from talking about these "parties," then why are you publicizing an article that would fuel more talk about these parties? And last, if your article is trying to make a point about how these people are throwing their lives away, maybe you should think about the amount of work these so called "party-ers" do in school and their resulting GPA's. You might find that their grades and extracurricular activities do not reflect your accusation. Overall I understand your point about the drugs and alcohol being a negative influence in people’s lives, but your article does not create a professional view on these facts and issues but instead is only a rant about how much you dislike such "parties" and an attack on these “party-ers.”
Just because a person drinks
Just because a person drinks and smokes doesn’t mean that he or she is throwing his or her life away on drugs and alcohol. If you actually took the time to get to know these people that you’re ranting about, you might find that many of these “complete idiots” that you refer to are actually straight-A students, community service leaders, and varsity athletes. I guarantee that many of these “druggies” and “alcoholics” have a much more impressive transcript and resume than you, so who are you to call them idiots?
If the problem you’re trying to address is the issue of students talking about their weekends at school, then you have a legitimate topic to discuss (even though yours turned out more like a rant). However, it seems like you’re making personal attacks on these students who drink and smoke. Who are you to question someone else’s lifestyle?
Why you would rather “jump on a pile of broken glass, barefooted,” possibly get some deadly infection, and then soak your feet in salt water rather than go to one of these parties where you don’t necessarily have to do anything is beyond me. Your article fails to address the real issue of the problem. It almost seems like you’re dissing on these parties because you aren’t invited to them.
While you do have a good
While you do have a good point, I really think you just need to calm down. If you don't want to hear people talking about this, then ask them to stop. If they won't, just leave. Your massive verbal retaliation against them is at best extreme, and at worst purely juvenile. No one said you had to join in to their activities.
First of all, I would like
First of all, I would like to say that this "rant" started out as a blog entry, which do not necessarily have to be well thought-out or professional. It was then turned into a column after I submitted it.
Even though it is a column, it is still my opinion. It's a strong opinion, and I'll admit it got a bit confrontational, but I don't think that makes it any less legitimate.
I tend to rant when I talk, especially about things I'm passionate about, so that's why this came off as a bit of a rant. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing though. I said all the things I've been wanting to say for a long time. I got my point across, and that's all that mattered to me.
I don't think that anyone at Uni has thrown their life away on drugs and alcohol. That might have been a bit of an exaggeration, but it's what I don't want them to do. If they spend all their free time drinking and smoking, then I fear that they're well on their way to doing so.
If one of the people I'm talking about is a straight-A student or a varsity athlete or a community leader, then that's all the more reason to write this article. How on earth is that a criticism? Varsity athletes should not be doing drugs and alcohol, because it's not only bad for their bodies in general, it's not good at all for their athletic abilities, and their ability to focus on the game. Community leaders should be role models. In my opinion, which I think is one shared by a lot of people, role models are not people who spend their weekends getting high. What I meant by the numerous times I used the words "stupid" or "idiot" was not that they were not intellectual people. Maybe they're good in school, but the choices they're making in life are not smart.
Also, I take offense to someone saying that just because I am not a varsity athlete or a community leader or a straight-A student that means that I'm not a worthwhile individual. I personally think that common sense in life and an ability to think for myself is going to be more valuable to me as I get older than being able to get As on history tests or getting awards in sports.
In my opinion, getting drunk and high on the weekends is not a lifestyle. It's a serious problem. So in that way, I do not feel that I'm criticizing someone's lifestyle.
I can understand having an occasional drink, or drinking in moderation, but what I'm trying to criticize in my "rant" are those people who drink to get drunk and smoke to get high, and then think that it makes them somehow better than the rest of us who have never been drunk in our lives. That, to me, makes no sense.
If I had an opportunity to rewrite this column, I think I would make it a little less confrontational, but it would still say all the same things. I don't regret anything I said, maybe only the way I said it. A lot of people I know and associate myself with have these same opinions. I took the opportunity that I have, being on the Gargoyle and having the option of publishing my thoughts to an audience, to talk about an issue that has bothered me for a long time. The people I'm talking about are people that I used to or still care about. I know a lot of them now hate me, but that's not what I wanted. I don't want to lose all the respect I ever had for them, but it's hard not to when I see or hear all the things they're doing with their lives.
I find the accusation that I'm just whining that I didn't get invited to these parties to almost not warrant a response. I would not ever have written this column if that was how I felt. Maybe the whole broken glass thing was a bit much, but I really do not want to go to these parties and watch as people I've known for four years do things that I seriously don't believe in, pretending that they're invincible, while I know that there's nothing I can do about it.
I also get the feeling that the people holding and attending these parties think that because of the parties, they are somehow infinitely cool, and that anyone who doesn't go is not cool, and anyone who complains is just jealous. I don't like this attitude, even though that could be slightly hypocritical of me, seeing how I feel that by going to these parties, that makes you totally "uncool."
I think that all of you who think or "know" that this column is specifically directed at you should just be glad that I didn't name any names, and that even if anyone of any authority asks, I won't tell them, no matter how much I wish this would all stop.
I just wish people would really think about what they are doing and what kind of consequences it's going to have tomorrow or even in twenty years.
Maybe these "subtle" hints
Maybe these "subtle" hints have gotten through to whoever this article pertains to, and are ignored because people have chosen to do what they want to do, just like people have unprotected sex even though they know the risk of AIDS. If parents and teachers and people they respect can't change the way they act, how can someone who calls them idiots? I just don't see what the point of this article is.
In response to the third anonymous...
You stated:
"However, it seems like you’re making personal attacks on these students who drink and smoke. Who are you to question someone else’s lifestyle?"
Are you serious? Are you saying that drinking and smoking is a lifestyle for someone, let alone a high school student, where in which case it is illegal? Or is my analysis wrong?
guys, guys, calm down
guys, guys, calm down
To all you anonymous responders...
If I am not mistaken, the IHSA has strict policies regarding the use of drugs and other related substances by its athletes. I also know that many of the students being alluded to in this column are varsity athletes, and consequently, IHSA athletes. You all know who you are, and you are all disgracing Uni by participating in such illicit activity. Many of you will be going to college very soon, and it saddens me that you think that you're behaving like adults, when really you're just behaving like children. Alcohol and drugs may seem "cool" now, and you can spin your behavior any way you want, claiming it be a "lifestyle choice", but you're so very very wrong.
For those of you who think drinking and smoking is the way to have fun, your choices say only one thing about you. You must be socially inept. You apparently don't have the ability to interact with other people and have fun while in a normal frame of mind, and must alter your senses to get along with each other. It may seem great now, but just wait until you get to college. Your grades will certainly suffer, you will form relationships with people who are only interested in partying with you and not in you as a person, and one day, everything will catch up to you, and you will pay. Trust me.
Oh, and by the way, people who post anonymously and say that they are community leaders and straight-A students should be ignored. It is easy to say that you are a straight-A student when you're not putting your name down on your comment. If you truly are a straight-A student and you truly are proud of your lifestyle choices, get a spine and speak up.
Bringing down Lauren sure seems easy when you refuse to put a name to your comment. You may feel empowered by the ability to criticize her to your heart's content when no one can pin the response on you. But that's just pathetic. If you are so sure of yourselves, if you are so proud of your ability to accomplish everything in life and maintain such a destructive and pathetic lifestyle, then speak up now.
Oh and props to Rachel Skoza
Oh and props to Rachel Skoza for having a spine and putting her name on her comment when it is obviously not the most popular opinion.
Obviously Lauren has hit a
Obviously Lauren has hit a nerve. Seems like a great many responses are defensive -- and, interestingly, anonymous. Makes me wonder what people have to hide. Some of the comments make me wonder as well how adept some of these people are at reading.
Lauren's response to the response is reasoned and honest. She was hyperbolic in her style, but as she so aptly notes in her response, the style should not hide the seriousness of what she has to say.
Thank you, Lauren, for caring enough about your schoolmates to bring the issue out in public.
Isn't it understandable
Isn't it understandable if an article calling your classmates alcoholics, potheads, and complete idiots who deserve no respect "hits a nerve"? I don't mean to criticize Lauren, because I think that she chose an issue worth writing about, but it kind of makes sense if the people that feel this article is talking about them are "defensive", to say the least.
I think that what people do
I think that what people do in private should be kept in private, and so I agree with Lauren's point that if you do something, don't come into school talking about it. Maybe it's not her place to judge you, but it's most certainly not your place to be the ones who bring it up in the first place, and then criticize her for responding.
And seriously, if you're going to talk about it, don't do it in a place where you could get kicked off your sports team, or even out of the school.
Commenting closed.
The Gargoyle has decided to suspend commenting for this column. If you would like to share your opinion, the Gargoyle would be glad to consider guest contributed columns for publication.