ELAINE GU
Gargoyle assistant editor
Posted Thursday, May 22, 2008

FOR AS LONG as I could remember, I have always put extra effort into everything that I did.

When we were learning cursive in second grade, I practiced and practiced to make sure that my writing looked exactly like the examples shown in the books.

When we did projects in class, I always made mine extra elaborate.

When we had recreational track meets in elementary school, I always trained for weeks to make sure that I would win my events.

All my life, I’ve tried to be the best at everything that I did. Whether it’s school, sports, or any other extracurricular activity, I had to excel at it.

However, things started to change after I began attending Uni. After getting a terrible grade on my cutting edge paper subfreshman year, I started to realize that maybe I wasn’t as perfect as I thought I was.

Particularly in recent years, I have come to realize that I can’t be the best at everything. After taking calculus, I found that I wasn’t the smartest. After running track and cross country, I discovered that I wasn’t the fastest.

Somehow, after years of attending Uni, I have lost my will to overachieve. I no longer get papers done a week before they’re due. I no longer go the extra step to perfect my daily assignments. And after getting my first B in a class this year, I am no longer a straight-A student.

In addition, after pushing myself for so many years, I have lost my willpower.

Sophomore year was extremely hard for me; I endured through brutal cross country and track seasons while I continued practicing the violin and getting A’s in all my classes. I was exhausted every single day, and I hated the thought of going to school each morning.

At the beginning of this year, I promised that I would stop “torturing” myself. I dropped a class so I would have at least one free period, and I decided not to do track because it took up too much time.

During the week, I no longer practice the pieces that I’m supposed to for youth orchestra. During cross country season, I didn’t give it my all in every race because I started fearing the agony of pain in my muscles once the lactic acid sets in. Even in school, I stopped putting in extra effort and started doing just what I had to do to get by with an A in each class.

Maybe I have been stricken with an early case of senioritis. No matter what the cause is, I wish I possessed the drive and the desire to learn that I had years ago.

Today, looking around the lounge, I saw seniors laughing, dancing, and taking pictures to document their last official day of school. I was so jealous of them; they will go on to a new life in college while I still have to endure another year of standardized testing and college applications.

Thankfully, school is almost over. This summer, I plan to relax and just enjoy life. And after that, only one more year left!

So fellow juniors, let’s gut it out for one more year. We’ve survived through the notoriously hard junior year, so next year can’t be that bad.

As for you underclassmen, well, good luck guys. I’m just glad that I’m not one of you right now.

Note: An earlier version of this column was published as an entry in the Gargoyle staff blog.