MICHELLE GAO
Gargoyle co-editor-in-chief
Posted Friday, May 30, 2008

I'M NOT QUITE sure how to start this piece of writing. I have to make this final column count.

It would be nice if I could think of something profound and deep to leave to future students at Uni.

Unfortunately, all I can seem to think about right now is the odd feeling I have of wanting to leave quite terribly while also wanting to stick Uni in my pocket and take everyone with me everywhere.

When I opened this page to write, the song "Seasons of Love" from the musical "Rent" started playing:

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes, how do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights? In sunsets? In midnights, in cups of coffee?
In inches, in miles? In laughter, in strife?

How about all of those, but multiplied by five?

My daylights were consumed by Uni. I have wonderful memories of watching sunsets with Uni friends. I've spent midnights with people, or on the phone with someone. Sometimes a friend and I drive to the Espresso Royale close to both of our houses and we sit and drink coffee and talk about our lives. Inches, miles of fitness. The laughter and strife are self-explanatory.

How am I supposed to sum up my five years with Uni in one. Short. Column?

My high school experience was made up of nights of AIM conversations, homework, and hours on the phone. It was made up of fascinating discussions in class, tea on Fridays in a certain English class, frustration over math problems. It was made up of auditions and papers and performances and sitting in cars or parks talking with friends about everything and nothing at all. It was made up of insecurities and good surprises and bad surprises and Facebook and livejournal.

As clichéd and sad as this next bit is going to sound, all I can really think of to say is "thank you." The classes that I liked the most weren't necessarily the classes that I did the best in. The classes that benefited me the most weren't the ones I liked most at the time, either (PE, ahem).

I'm sorry that I wasn't more animated in some classes that I enjoyed a lot — sometimes I just felt like I had to sit back and absorb without trying to add my convoluted thoughts to a discussion. I'm sorry for not paying attention sometimes — it wasn't because the classes weren't fascinating.

How am I going to live without Uni theater and tech weeks and inside jokes?

I'm thankful for the people I met when I came to Uni, and the people whom I got closer to whom I already knew. It's scary to think that I'll actually have to keep in touch with all of you. It's weird to think that you won't already know all the details of my life because you won't just be at most a quick drive or a weekend away.

I don't know if I still remember how to make friends, because I have had so many wonderful people who take my quirks for granted. I don't know how I'm going to find new friends on a par with the ones I have now.

All of this isn't to say that I'm not dying to get out of here — I am. After five years of homework and stress and more drama than I would have liked, I'm ready to leave (to the U of I) and reinvent myself.

But really, Uni was what helped me grow (ahh, more sappiness. I apologize, really). I can't think of a better, more supportive environment for me to have grown in. I grew from a shy and awkward 12-year-old to a … well, somewhat less awkward 17-year-old much more confident in who I am.

So to all of my teachers: I learned something from each and every one of you, even if it seemed like I wasn't paying attention. To my friends: Thanks for explaining things to me without mockery when I was confused. To the people I would have liked to get to know better: Thanks for being in my life in general.

It's time for me to go.